These new Bud Lights get you drunk fast…maybe it’s the extra alcohol….maybe.
Why don’t I rush to see summer movies anymore? Because I don’t fall for the hype. Here’s one fan after watching the trailer for Star wars episode one.
I love comic books, but as a kid I never liked Thor. Why? Too many “thees, and “thous” in the dialog. Plus the blond he- man like god who always managed to be topless, with his little wings in his helmet, and that rainbow bridge in Asgard….the whole thing just seemed kind of gay to me. And I was only 12.
Video proof that not only is Thor gay…he’s into bears. Look closely and you’ll spot Thor dancing for a moment with a fat Spiderman.
My father’s reaction to the death of Whitney Houston.
A conversation with Mo
A: So what did you think of the Avengers?
Mo: It’s ok, but overly hyped.
A: Really? Why do you say that?
Mo: Let’s start with the bad guys. Every time you saw them, all they talked about was kicking Earth’s ass. Why? They never really said. They went on and on about their “Army.” But their army was about as powerful as the puddy army from power rangers.
A: Why do you say that?
Mo: They didnt show them kill anybody!! The entire film. They show these bad ass aliens jumping out of portals from space and landing on the ground and getting beat up by Scarlet Johanssen. Shit the spice girl army was more powerful then that. The spice girls would have at least “jumped” that bitch.
This grand armada from space couldn’t event beat 1 guy with no powers, standing perfectly still on top of a roof top shooting arrows.
A: LOL…that’s true.
Mojo: The movie really didn’t have a plot. The movie starts with aliens in space talking about ruling the galaxy… And their army once again. And they throw in the fact that Loki wants to rule the earth for some unknown reason. And something about retrieving the Tesseract…and boom, let’s get these Avengers together!!!
By the way, why do we have to get the Avengers together? Why can’t we call the Xmen? They’re local, they live in NY don’t they? Wtf is Spiderman? What happened? He saw the port holes opening up in space on tv and said, “I don’t think sticking to walls will be too useful in this situation. I’m sitting this one out.”
A: Don’t almost all Marvel characters live in NY?
Mojo: Yes!!! Where’s the fantastic 4?? Hey Marvel, you did a whole movie where you showed the Fantastic 4 having a giant building downtown NY. Why can’t we call them? They don’t have the hulk, but they have the thing. Or do they not exist because their movie sucked? Cause I can’t help but notices that Captain America looks an awful lot like the human torch from those movies.
A: That is the same guy, I thought so. So did you like the movie?
Mojo: It had issues, but it was ok. Mojo’s always been a fan of pointless violence.
“Gay men should be put to death for their sexual crimes.” -Manny Pacquiao Super bitch
Mojo fun fact: In the “so called greatest city in the world NYC, the police can stop and frisk anybody they find suspicious. I’m sure your surprised to know that the number of people being pulled over and frisked in the city has shot up from just five years ago. Who’s being frisked at a high rate? Here’s the police departments own numbers…33.7% Latino’s
52.9% black people.
Want to hear the sad fact about that number? The police stopped and frisked more young black men, then the number of black men actually living in New York City.
For this, and many other reasons…I mojo the great always says, “Fuck the police!!”
“I would love to read you what Jesus Christ said against homosexuality …I can’t because he didn’t say anything about it. But evidently Jesus was so filled with rage he was speechless. But I am confident that he condemned it all the time in private, when he was hanging out with those 12 other dudes….at their elaborate dinner parties…where they all sat on the same said of the table. Just living the bachor life together, drinking wine, and constantly working on their wash board abs. ” - Stephen Colbert
A conversation with Mo
A: I just got your credit card statement. There’s a fifty dollar charge for something called bang brothers.
Mo: That’s correct.
A: The bill for some reason list a whole bunch of names, what’s the bang bus?
Mo: It’s a yellow school bus that rides though the city looking for smoking hot nymphomaniacs who have no issues taking rides from complete strangers and having sex with them.
A: So it’s porn?
Mo: Yup. You know what the sad thing is?
A:The fact that you wasted fifty dollars on porn?
Mo: (sigh) No, it’s the fact that after running a major train on these girls who just wanted a ride on the bang bus, these asshole guys then dump them off in the middle of nowhere… and just take off leaving them.
A: Seriously?
Mo: yup.
A: You know there’s other names on this bill right? What’s Captain stabbin?
Mo: Think bang bus on a boat. Instead of ditching the chick in the ghetto or something, they throw her off the boat and speed away…so wrong.
A: Milf hunter.
Mo: Doesn’t the title say it all? He hunts down milfs.
A: And what? Kills them?
Mo: Pretty much…using only his cock. Boom!
A: 8th street Latinas ?
Mo: Hey, those girls represent. They really care about 8th street, & there’s nothing wrong with taking pride in your community.
